I'm new here, and am seem to go through cycles of *having* to deal with what I went through as a child. Problem is, I start trying to talk about it, and then freeze up, and frantically try to bury it all again.
I'm now 32 and am a mum to 2 kids. I don't want to be running from this forever, but don't know how to cope with it all either. It all seems so huge. At the moment I'm losing time. I mean, I've had flashbacks before, but not during the day for no reason. It's weird, and scary.
I was sexually abused by my grandad aged 5-13, and by a boy at school aged 11-13, then a so called friend tried to rape me at 16, and to continue the cycle, I was in an abusive relationship for several years, and stupidly I married the guy thinking he'd change, then fell pregnant thinking he'd changed. Thankfully, when he hit me while pregnant, I knew I had to leave, and I'm with a great guy now, and we've since had another little one.
I'll leave this here for now. I hope someone decides to write. Feeling kind of exposed and nervous.
I have similar problem. Flashbacks frozen up at the super Market. I tried going to counseling but couldn't tell her any thing about my past. Maybe because saying it outloud would make it More than just a nightmare that replayed in my mind. I was scared and embarrassed so I stopped going. Ive written journals getting it out was a little helpful. And writing on line no one knows who you are.
