Hello all. Where to start? Well, I am 38, I live in Bangkok now, but come from Vermont. (in the usa) I've been bumping around the globe for about 10 years. That was my idea: to run away from myself. But here I sit with me, myself and I. I am on this forum to find a serious partner in understanding. I have no access to 'western' help, but hell, I have tried that before. I am a "functioning nutcase" so to speak. I am a teacher, I have a fantastic partner (male), two pet turtles, a cat, et (****ing) cetera. But I am still a mess. I smoke cigarettes, drink a bit too much, worship music, like art. and love travelling (of course). My past is holding me back. I thought it was my stepdad. It still is, but I am finding myself more and more pissed off with my mother for not protecting me and at myself for STILL being ****ed up, even though I left home at 17. I grind my teeth, sleeptalk/walk, flashback and generally abuse myself in the name of being under control. 22 years later, UGH! Why do I still think about this ****? I am open-minded as to who my friend in healing is. I do not care if you are green, purple, or have two heads and five eyes as long as you take this seriously. Cause I am sick of this **** and I need a friend who can help me and I can help, too.
