i'm paul , 24, and i've only very recently been able to realise / admit to myself that something terrible sexually happened to me as a child... and realise and accept how it affects my adult life.
it is nice to read and see that i am not alone.
i would love to meet people through this site, and i have a lot of patience for anyone who needs someone to listen.
My name is Kale 22 from Tennessee. My oldest brother sexually abused me from the age of 3 until i was 15. it would happen almost daily and right under my parents nose. every morning i was afraid to wake up , i was scared and terrified of him. Once when i was 5, he took me into the woods and got 6 of his friends to rape me one at a time while he held me down.
I cant stop feeling ashamed of myself and sometimes i feel like life is not worth living anymore. i told my parents what happened to me, but they told me to drop it because my brother has a wife and children and he dont deserve to be punished. i hate myself for the things he did, it is hard for me to understand why God would allow these things to happen to anyone espesially a child.
hay Kale, and Paul, Well u are both , not alone, I hope, that u fined away to, get on with your life, and forget.Ofcourse no one can forget completly,that would be ronng of me to say so.
My sister raped me , over and over and over again, mother new about it but did nothing. I hate her, I hate my sister, I my father, BUT MOST OF ALL I HATE MY SELF, of every day, of every year, but I can not dwell on they past, I/we have to move on.
Talking may help, but it may not, but i am always here to help.
I am a 51 year old male who was raped by our parish priest when I was 14. I immediately came forward and was branded a liar and a troublemaker by my friends and family. I automatically became 'The Black Sheep'. Ultimately I was kicked out of the family house for insisting it happened, and was out on the street at the age of 15. I have developed a severe mistrust to all figures of authority that I am still in therapy for to this day.
This mistrust kept me from ever acheiving my dreams (medical school; I naturally made excellent grades - but when a instructor would generously offer to be a 'mentor' for my career, an act which happens frequently in my life as I am an intelligent and perceptive student of Life, I immediately dropped out and began a life of partial hermitry, shunning friends and social settings, alcohol abuse (sober nowadays, 19 years).
My abuser is still alive and practicing and safely living in Costa Rica in a compound that comes with a 'visionary' who sleeps with his teenage volunteers and speaks to the Virgin Mary. I've an attorney who has been pressuring the Oblates (his order) over this; I have gone very public: Television, press, you name it. The man ruined my life, and my honesty only made things worse.
But I am happily 'married' these days (I'm a gay man in an 18 year relationship with a fellow abuse survivor; if my being gay bugs you, I could care less), well employed, have built a business from scratch, and don't regret that I spoke out when the abuse happened.
