Hello - My name is Tracy.  I am 39 years old and live in the North East of England.

I was systematically sexually and physically abused by my father for around 12 years until I had the courage to escape the day before my 18th birthday.  Why did I wait so long?  The truth is I didn't realise that I could have legally left 2 years earlier.  My father was a very violent man and I was convinced that he would kill the whole family whenever I made my break but, thankfully, he only killed himself.

Some people may think that this would have brought things to a close but in fact it was only the beginning of the next chapter.  Looking back, of course my mother and brother knew but I thought it was my secret and while I was being blamed for driving my father to suicide it didn't seem like the right time to start telling the world why I ran away.  Consequently, it remained with me alone and was pushed further to the back of my mind where it stayed for the next 17 years.

I began talking about my past just over 4 years ago and have weekly therapy but still find it difficult to talk details and have found it impossible to ever mention it to my mother.  I feel certain that I could have opened up to my brother by now but he sadly died in an accident some 10 years ago.

I would be interested to hear from anyone who has been through something similar.