Just here to share my story, hopefully find someone with similar experiences that needs my help or wants to talk.

My story starts off with me being 4 years old, I don't remember much, but my Mum was a single Mum to my brother and I. She had a job I had to be left with a babysitter, Lee. Lee was her best friend. I loved him. He was brilliant with me, letting me stay up late, let me be cheeky, give me sweets, play games and basically spoiling me. One day he asked me to be his girlfriend, I had a crush on Lee so of couse I agreed. From then on it, Lee would touch me, get me naked, get me into provocative positions and take pictures, play games which looking back would include sexual activity (which at the time didn't seem wrong). All this ended up on the internet where I eventually seen it for myself in school whilst studying my A-Levels. A picture of me in a position I shouldn't have even known exsisted, on a anti-child abuse campaigne poster. Lee abused me from the age of 4 up until I was 11. I never heard from Lee again, until I was gang raped at 13, and I think Lee was there. I'm not 100% sure though.
I struggled through my teenage years until I got into my first serious relationship aged 17. I thought I loved him, but he turned out to be someone completely different to who I thought. After we had sex (11 months in) He started hitting me, demanding sex whenever he pleased and forcing me to give it him. I started cutting myself and really withdrew into myself. The final straw was when he hit me whilst I was pregnant at 19 and caused me to lose the baby. I started drinking quite a bit and was always out and at parties. But one night I met a boy called Andy, he was a squaddie and was lovely to me. He was giving me drinks all night and I genuinely thought he was interested in me. I don't really remember much of that night. I remember him taking me upstairs, helping me into a bed, taking my pants off and having sex with me. I couldn't keep my eyes open properly. He was leaning on my neck and telling me to ask him to stop. I couldn't speak properly cos I'd stupidly had too much to drink. After he'd finished, I pulled my pants up and he walked off. I'd been used. I felt disgusting. I carried on drinking and got myself into some right states.
Right now though, things have changed dramatically. I am now 21. I have a lovely boyfriend who knows all about these, he understands, talks about it all with me and helps me ALOT. He does alot for me and understand that sometimes I'm sad and need time alone. I have the most wonderful, beautiful and funniest 14 week old baby girl now. She's always smiling and is always happy. She's my inspiration and I'm getting better for her. To make her, and my partner, proud of me. Once and for all.
-Sorry it's so long, needed to get it all off my chest. 
Thanks for reading.