This was just a quick kinda letter if you would say to myself to try and help me get over what happen its not really kinda for people to read but you can if you want its just for myself to know that's its out there of some of the things that did and teachers at school knew about this any why nothings was done about it I'm 20 now and still living at home i have no job so i cant move out and my mother is still abusing me so I'm still very depressed! Left at home age of 3 no babysitter
Went near Josephines make up one night so then locked in the room till 1-2pm in the day wet myself one time because I was banging on the door to go to the bathroom but no-one woke up so I was hit and kicked for wetting myself
didnt clean my room so I wasnt aloud opened presents and had to stay in my room all Christmas day
Burned with boiling water from the kettle by my sister sent to school and received no medical attention for burns still have scar on my back from the burns Sent to school with no socks for months during winter nor did I have socks or any school uniform till granny brought them for us for years Sent to school with chicken pox At my Communion my parents wouldnt go up and lit the candle with me like all the rest of the parents I started to cry so I was brought out and kicked into the car got home and was then hit with the brush and kicked had to stayed there for the rest of the day Dad did something to my room and I got the blame and I got beat dad came home and said it was him I got a beating for not telling her it wasnt me Got blamed for years for taking her watch got regular beatings asking where it was, used to get me up drunk and beat me and asking where it was until all hours of the morning years later the watch was found on the bog she never said sorry Was never aloud to see friends outside school
New years stayed in grannies in town in same bedroom as mother she came home drunk and kept poking me and telling me she will never speak to me again if I didnt make her a cup of tea this went on for hours I made her a cup of tea and I woke up in the morning she never touch itRan away 6-7 times always got a beating when found the last time I ran away she shaved my hair Dad was giving up fags said I slammed a door which I didnt but he still smashed my head off a mirror was left with a big cut on my head I received no medical attention Did something wrong she burned everything in my room only the bed was left and school uniform and one outfit I think Broke my foot in three places wasnt brought to the hospital for days til my granny brought me mother tried to run me over in her car coz she said I was eating in it and didnt talk to me for months had to be brought in to school or anywhere by dad she didnt cook dinner for me nor was I aloud be in the same room as her
mother burned everything in my bedroom and again apart from the bed and school uniform and clothes I was wearing tried to kill my self after this with pills
Also from the years used to try and kill myself with a pillow or in the bath, used to cry allot and ask god to let me die or why did I ever have to be born after the beatings or abuse from my father or mother
And this is only scratching the surface on my child hood
I am new here and I don't know it this is the right thing to do or not, and I know that it is a letter to yourself but I wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I am 30 years old and I have a hard time understanding why my mother did everything she did to me. I have a wife now that treats me a lot like my mother did. I could go on about all of this but I just really just want you to know that you are not alone.
