Hi, I am a 46 year old female. I suspect that I was sexually abused as a child by my father but I don't have a clear memory of it. I have bits and pieces. I am aware disassociation occurs often with tramatic events. The one clear memory I do have is the countless times of lieing in bed with my father wrapped in his arms while he was naked and I was clothed. I can vividly recall wanting to escape and being trapped by his arms and legs and forced to stay with him. I exhibit so many manifestations of abuse, lack of trust among people, lack of self worth masked by a need for perfection, dissociation during sex but I have no clear memory. When I confronted my mother she called me a monster and said I was lieing and made it up. Are there other people out there that sense they were abused but have no clear memory of it? Amber
yeaaaa....your father being naked next to you doesn't seem quite right. so to answer your question though, I'm in the same boat about having no clear memory being of abused. I don't even have a vague memory. I don't think I was sexually abused but maybe emotional neglect? I don't know. It's weird and very frustrating. My mother tells me about the time my father had our dog by the leash and was kicking it repeatedly while I screamed at him to stop. I have no memory of that. Actually I don't remember the relationship I had with any of my family members- not my mom, dad, or sister.....just snippets. I wish I knew what to do about it.
