I am 23 still living at home under a "microscope". I have been dating this great guy for almost 7 years, we are getting married summer 09 and that is my only way out.
Today I am really fed up with my pathetic life and i was looking for some people that understand. I never knew until a few years after dating my boyfriend that I was abused, or that I had abused others. He has helped me alot but somehow seeing things for what they are makes them much harder then when i was young and never saw it as abuse. I am still trying to figure out if I even was abused.... I hate to say that on here because so many people have been tragically treated. I have had mostly emotional abuse, loud, constant yelling and put downs, nothing i do seems to be good enough, i can never go anywhere or keep any money of my own... the small amounts of physical abuse sto...well, slowed down alot when i was in a bad car accident in 2003. I know there was physical abuse when i was a kid but it wasnt that bad and its over now. Its the emotional abuse and control that i am dealing with now. SO much control I cant do anything, Im lucky to be able to see my boyfriend once a week and i usually pay for it in one way or another... Last month my mom beat and broke my 9 yr old dogs jaw, that was the last straw and i "left", i took a handful of things and the dog but i couldnt stay gone because i had to get my dog help. Obby (my dog) has been my constant through the last 9 years and i need him to be ok, he keeps me ok. I never left, but im hurting while i wait for next summer when i get married and can leave. I need someone to tell me other then myself that i was abused because i go back and forth on beleiving it because it wasnt that bad but it was bad enough for me to be going through alot latley... i like aim, yahoo and email for anyone who wants to talk
I know where you're coming from, it's always true! Once you get away and start your own life you'll get more perspective. It's only distance and time that makes you realise. The problem is that one of the abuser's tricks is to always make you feel that you are in the wrong, it's one of the worst problems to deal with because it's so ingrained in your mind. But if someone can beat a dog then they are clearly abusive... I hope you find what you need in your relationship. But give it a lot of time. Best wishes J
