i know that for me there are times when i get really down and very depressed. I am 43 years old and have struggled most of my adult life to 'forget' what happened to me as a very young child and until i was a teenager.
Somehow this just doesn't work anymore and i have recently gone back into therapy as a way of resolving some very big issues for me. I have realised that i get down when those carefully constructed [and i would say very successful] coping mechanisms break down and i am overwhelmed by feelings of being small and childlike. I know i cannot forget and pretend that what happened to me did not happen~ i also am learning after a very long time to realise it was not my fault and i am not to blame ~ i am being kinder to myself and acknowledging i have a right to live a full and empowered life. But on a bad day i think: hey why bother!
so what i am trying to say is this ~ it is up and down ~ don't do it alone ~i liken my healing journey to being on a rollercoaster ~ up and down and sometimes it makes yer sick but hey with good friends to hold your hand and support you ~ you can truly fly!
be kind to yourself, it takes time and energy ~ i know that the energy i was using to fight my feelings was very draining.
take care of you
elaine x
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"And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." by Anais Nin
evryday i get a down moment im still in shock from what happend i sometimes think the pain gets worse not better but then sometimes i think i can do this and so can you you just need to hold your head up high and think im stronger then evryone else because ive beaten my abuser/s and no ones going to hurt me again because im strong enough t deffand myself and im not a child anymore.
and alone again don't want to go back again i have already faced that pain
but hey with good friends to hold your hand and support you ~ you can truly fly! 
